Adoption—Are you an egghead or a potato head?

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

Why do some adoptees think it is their inalienable human right to know their true identity while others seemingly don’t care? Boiling water softens a potato and hardens an egg. When we find ourselves in hot water, and in danger of being criticized or punished, our “flight or fight” response is triggered. Our reactions to fear either harden or soften our chances of survival. Adoptees who fear confrontation react by withdrawing and escaping into isolation, darkness, and oblivion (flight). They are unwilling to play detective or rock the boat because they are afraid of the consequences. Other adoptees strive for validity, genuineness, truthfulness, and open communication. They are highly motivated to solve the mysteries of their origin and discover their true identity (fight).

An egghead is a professor, virtuoso, whiz, or brainy scholar intellectually gifted in the field of academics. An egghead is a professor, virtuoso, whiz, or brainy scholar intellectually gifted in the field of academics.

Eggheads are hardened by the adoption experience. They have an…

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